I am fascinated by the thoughts that begin as soon we wake up every morning. Have you noticed yourself start playing the same reel once you open your eyes?
- What time is it?
- Where is my phone? (In 2021, Statistics Canada cited 53% of Canadians do this. And an article on reviews.org in 2023 says that 89% of Americans check their phones within 10 minutes of waking.)
- Coffee!
- I have to go to work
- I want to stay in bed
Do any of these sound familiar?
Do you ever think about your thoughts?
We have tens of thousands of thoughts every single day and about 90% of them are the same as the ones that we had yesterday. Sounds a little like the movie Groundhog Day doesn’t it? Rinse and repeat.
Our thought patterns become hard wired. That’s a great thing when you consider that we do not have to consciously think of every single step as we make breakfast or go for a run. There is brain power left to think about other things. However, habituated thinking also robs us of the ability to think outside the box and make new connections. And outside the box is where the magic happens – where creativity lives and the opportunities to discover new ideas and approaches.
And it’s not just in the moments upon waking – we run thought patterns all day. I come back to this concept frequently and try to find better ways to become aware of my thoughts. Mostly because they are not helping to do the things that I want to do or be the person that I want to be – those thoughts sabotage me! And, we cannot change what we are not aware of. I catch myself going down rabbit holes in my thinking for certain things. When that awareness shines through, I can pull back and intentionally choose another line of thought. And that opens me up to create different results.
I created a meditation to help make us aware of how thoughts fly in and out of our consciousness. It’s just 2 minutes long. To prepare:
- Grab a piece of paper and a pencil
- Sit in a comfortable chair
- Take a couple of calming breaths
- Hit Play and Close your eyes
- Every time a intruding thought floats by, write it down and then go back to the waves
Check it out:
Any surprises for you?
Among the thoughts that floated through my consciousness were:
- Will this be good enough?
- My back is sore
- Where is my dog?
- I need a nap
- How much time is left?
So, what are the practical applications of this? Being aware of our mind and body will give us some new information.
Thinking about how I think when walking my dog…
I’ve been preoccupied lately with trying to diffuse the reactivity that races from my 2-year old Labrador Retriever each morning on our walk. He is full of exuberance and not at all mean. However, when he sees another dog, it’s playtime and if I do not pull back on the leash before he sees the other dog – I am in the middle of struggle to bring him under control. He has pulled me off my feet more than once. In fact, during a few weeks this summer, it happened at least once per week. And this after 2 rounds of training where he acts wonderfully in class – the problem persists out in the real world.
My thinking became, “Oh no – here’s another dog, let’s get a hand full of treats and move him away from the path of the oncoming dog.” Then I proceeded to run the pattern where my body completely tensed up in tandem with my thoughts as I prepared for the battle. As I tensed, I also pulled on the leash which made him dig in more. Or worse, I would see the other dog too late and be caught in reaction mode. And, by then, he sounds like a mad creature who is going to eat someone. There are a couple of dogs, in particular, who seem to bring out the crazy in him. He’s not in attack mode, his tail is wagging like he’s receiving the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He’s just noisy and desperately trying to play with this furry friend. And, at 60 years of age, I do not enjoy wrestling with my dog.
By this stage, I am usually struggling and really pissed off thinking things like “will you keep moving?” fired silently at the other handler. Or, “what the hell was I thinking, getting another dog?”. Certainly not helpful self-talk. And – there is no moving towards any kind of solution when I start thinking like that! A better question might be: “what do I need to do differently to make this better?”
What can I “think” or “do” differently?
I’m a coach, dammit, and I completely embrace that the people in front of me are complete and whole – capable. I also believe that we have everything that we need within us to move forward. So, what do I need to find within myself?
The point is not what my dog is doing. About 2 weeks ago, it occurred to me how I was playing the same script every time I saw another dog. Clearly, it was not working so why did I expect that employing the same strategy each time would somehow fix the problem?
I still have not completely solved the problem although it is getting much better. Firstly, I stopped tensing up and stopped worrying about what these other dog walkers might think. I also realized that I was usually acting too late after he was excited.
What is important about walking my dog?
I really love owning a dog. My objective is to get some exercise for myself and my dog without causing chaos each morning. In fact, it’s more than that – I want to enjoy the 60-90 minutes every morning by staying in the moment. It usually means that I steer clear or other walkers and ignore people that I may have stopped to chat with in the past. I now consistently stop and wait for him to calm down when I see a dog at a distance. I begin moving only when he is settled. I still tighten up on the leash when we pass a dog but it is a calm and controlled action. The chaos is over in a split second and there’s almost no struggle. I have not landed on my butt (or my shins) in a weeks.
We’ll see how it goes. Can I maintain this scrutiny of my thoughts and patterns?
Where else can self awareness help?
So, where are you thinking & doing the same things, over and over, and expecting different results? What question could you ask yourself to mix it up and just maybe make things better? To work with a Certified Professional Coach, click the link below to book a call: