When Life Circles Back: Remembering to Choose Differently

The Truth I Forget Sometimes

I firmly believe that we get to choose, in every moment of every day, how we show up.
And sometimes, I forget that.

It’s so easy to stay busy. But this time, the busy-ness wasn’t helping and it was hiding something I needed to feel.

The To-Do List Trap

In conversations with friends and family lately, I’ve noticed myself naming an old habit: building a to-do list and then diving into execution mode.

Much gets accomplished, but I lose touch with the present moment. It keeps me busy, yes, but not always in a way that feels meaningful. I end up measuring my days by quantity rather than quality. My choices drift away from my values.

What happens when you live your life like an endless “to-do” list? For me, I start ignoring an ache here or a pain there. My sleep suffers and I cannot think clearly.

Regression, Resistance, and Running

I’ve been on a journey for the past five years to live more like a human being instead of a human doing.

It’s one of the reasons I retired from IBM in 2019. The constant striving, the never-ending lists, both at work and at home, were slowly wearing me down. I craved more space, more agency, and time to breathe.

But lately, I noticed a regression. And underneath it? A quiet avoidance of some heavy feelings.

A broken wrist. Four loved ones facing medical issues. The heartache of rehoming a dog I adore. It’s been a stretch of deep emotional weight. Restless sleep and fatigue returned.

That’s when old habits return – ignore what I’m feeling and just get it done! Sound familiar?

Avoidance never works for long. I know this. It led me to burnout almost a decade ago. It’s also what drove me to “run away from home” for five years. When I slow down, I can begin to reconnect with what really matters – my own essence.

The Spiral of Growth (And Getting Stuck)

Life, to me, is a spiral path of learning.

I can see how far I’ve come over the past five years. Sometimes I move forward, sometimes I double back – but I’m still on the strand.

Recently, though, I hit a kind of loop. Like being stuck in a traffic circle, unsure which exit is mine, so I just kept spinning.

Reset Required: A Retreat to Remember

On top of everything life handed me, I initiated a few shifts too.

I stepped away from a job I enjoyed (my second “retirement”), visited my mom for a few weeks, and returned home with an open question about what’s next in my work.

Coaching calls to me more strongly than ever but I felt stalled. So, I gifted myself a reset. A personal retreat.

Body, Spirit, and the Power of Stillness

I booked a Body-Spirit-Integration experience with the amazing Sheila Winter Wallace.

For three days in late May, we explored the themes emerging in my life. Through hours of deep conversation and embodied work on her massage table (affectionately known as “the slab”), I released what I had been holding.

Sheila’s intuitive, body-based wisdom created movement and space. Not just in my body, but in my whole being.

In between sessions, I spent hours writing in my journal, capturing what I was experiencing and learning about myself.

I don’t remember the last time I felt that relaxed.

What I Let Go Of

Since late 2024, life has been full. This retreat offered me space — distance and perspective I didn’t know I needed.

I returned with a clear heart and mind. The feelings that had been clinging to me like barnacles on a whale; sadness, anger, shame – let go. The sticky residue, the anxiety, the whispers of “not enoughness”… gone.

I feel ready. I’m committed to this chapter as a retirement coach. Each day, I spend time doing what I love and building something that matters.

Listening to the Body’s Wisdom

This experience reminded me: the body doesn’t lie.

It’s always sending us messages (nudging, calling, sometimes shouting) when we veer off course. And yet we learn, often too well, how to tune it out.

But when we ignore those somatic cues, we do so at our peril.

At stake, for me, is nothing less than a meaningful life.

An Invitation to You

When was the last time your body tried to get your attention? What could it be telling you?